Disclaimer: This photo blog is not really a photo blog. At all. It should be labeled “Rachel’s life, updated sporadically.” If you don’t mind reading ramblings and adventures from your photographer, go on ahead and read! If you’re looking for photos…well, this blog has been a dismal failure.
It’s been a long journey. One I never thought would go on so long, nor be as difficult as it’s been. The journey started almost two years ago, with a finale of almost dying of asthma complications and having surgery in April. After the surgery, I recovered quickly, and thought it was all behind me. When I thought I was better, I started my up my business for the season, and quickly booked more sessions than I had in any other year.
However, it wasn’t finished. Two months after surgery, I started having complications. I went in to the doctor, and found out I had a staph infection in my sinus.’ I guess it’s not uncommon, but needed to be taken care of right away with antibiotics. Okay, I went on another round. A month after those antibiotics, I got sick again.
This visit, my doctor turned around, pretending to look through my files for something. He didn’t realize I could still see his face I guess, because I could tell it wasn’t good. He turned around again and said, “Not too big of a deal, although it is a complication…”
I think he knew I would cry. I already did that once when I got sick with the first staph infection.
It was something called biofilm. Biofilm coats your sinus, and collects bacteria. Essentially, you have a cycle of infections. So, my doctor prescribed a steroid wash. I went on that for months. It seemed to help, and while I was on the steroid wash, I had another round of antibiotics too, just for the heck of it. Geez, this was probably the 14th round in 18 months. I was thinking of starting to throw them in with my cereal in the morning.
So, the biofilm was being treated, and then I started having a side affect from the wash…crazy bloody noses. It was disgusting. I’ve dealt with a lot since this all began, but for some reason this side affect really got to me. It would happen whenever my nose felt like it, and go on for 40 minutes or so. It wasn’t the kind of bloody noses you think of when you think bloody noses (I promise). It was like a raging flood, or at least a tiny continues faucet. I felt like a vampire. It went all over my clothes, all over my face, no matter how hard I tried to stop it. If I had wanted a great Halloween costume, that was it. The steroid wash seemed to be causing the bloody noses, so I was asked to stop using it as much…and then had another staph infection.
It’s been a cycle of sick/ week of relief/ sick again, since June. I’ve been impressed with myself, though. I’ve been beastly. In late September, I booked my maximum amount of seniors for the year and shut my booking schedule down. It’s amazing what you can do when you don’t actually feel like you’re dying. Compared to last year, I’ve been as well as…a beautiful flower. As long as it had fresh rain and the sun didn’t beat on it too long. I guess I should be compared to a shade flower.
I’m at University of Michigan now. I’m still hoping this can all be resolved soon. As much as I feel better than last year, I still have limited energy and that’s frustrating. I also can’t hang onto the idea that I’m completely well. The cycles of sick/well/ sick has made me a bit distrustful of feeling good. The asthma is not as serious as in “lungs shuddering for breath and waking up at night,” but it’s still labeled as “uncontrolled.” I’m seeing a UM doctor about that as well, and hopefully new and stronger medicine will help.
This entire life-journey has definitely shifted my mindset. So many things used to bother me. For instance, I might burn my hand cooking. “Well, hey—at least I can breathe.” The other day, our basement flooded. My husband and I got limited sleep. “Well, hey—that sleep wasn’t that bad, I was able to sleep in bed instead of sleeping upright in a chair.” I think I had a little stomach bug a few weeks ago. “Well, hey…it’s only going to last a few days.” I ripped my new leggings, which I was in-love with…well, things happen. Am I going to hate shoveling snow this year? Probably not (as much), because I bet I can do it without coughing for hours afterwards. I used to LOVE traveling, and wanted to do it constantly. I loved it so much, that I ended up being a little ungrateful for where I was at the moment. Am I still like that? Not really. I’m grateful that I can take a walk through the neighborhood without gasping for breath.
I don’t really feel lame at all either, from losing my crazy desire of travel, or taking grateful walks around the neighborhood. It’s amazing how much the little things in life mean to you, when you didn’t even notice them before.